I Cheated...

So I haven't written in a while, I guess because I didn't want to have to admit to the world I failed. I cheated on my diet. Not only once but twice. And I can honestly say I don't even know what I was thinking. But last Friday and Saturday I went totally carb crazy. Got back on the wagon on Sunday t but only to turn around on Friday and cheat again! I do know why I did though. I know that this Friday it was just an overwhelmingly emotional day and I didn't give my cares or worries to God I took comfort in food. I know that to some people that it sounds so crazy. But if you have been dependant on food for so long sometimes it is hard to say no to the comfort it give you. Anyway I did manage to lose 4 lbs (3 of which I had gained last week!) but I have lost 34 total pounds.
Today I did a mock 5k and it took me an hour and ten minutes. Not the time I wanted but it was totally different running outside than it is on the treadmill. The point is I did make it and made it better than the 16 year old nephew that kept whining!! I am not throwing the towel in. I just need to put my faith and trust into God and go to Him for the answers! He has been wonderful and the only way I have stayed strong for this long. It just goes to show you that when you stop depending on God and think you can handle everything on your own you tend to mess it up!
I really feel like I am just wandering around in my relationship with God. Our church is without a pastor and the future isn't looking good there. I just pray that God tells us what to do in that matter. Also many of our people have been so sick and haven't been able to make it to church or they are financially burdened and haven't been able to afford the gas. I definitely miss the church fellowship. Not sure what to do about that.
Tomorrow I start school again!! I am excited and scared all at the same time. I  hope it will be a good day and I really hope I am ready. Then Tuesday I start my new job as a social activity coordinator for the Association of Retarded Citizens. I have some ideas for activities but if any of you guys have suggestions feel free to send them my way! I know this is rambling today but I just can't focus. My baby is starting 1st grade tomorrow, I am starting school, I had an incredibly fun weekend, I met a nice guy, and I danced so much Friday night that my legs and hips are still sore!! It is time to go now but I know I have to keep y'all updated!!


Here is my 34 lbs less pic!

I am looking curvy in this picture and so proud that my butt fit in these pants and actually look like a butt and not a pancake!!! :)