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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Ouch!!

Well it wasn't good news for me, I stepped on the scale this morning anticipating to be in the 270's, but to my disappointment I had gained 6 lbs!  Now I am not going to say I was devastated...I was sad.  Sad that even though I haven't cheated at all, and I have been faithfully doing my couch to 5k program that I still gained the weight. Now logically speaking I am quite sure it is water retention. I read up on it. I read that when you are exercising your muscles get inflamed and cause swelling. Excessive heat causes swelling and water retention and honestly I have always had a problem with it. So hopefully next week I will lose!!
I know my mentality is changing. When I get on that treadmill to do my workout (this week it is walk 5 min, jog 1 min and 30 seconds, walk 2 min. repeat x6 and then 5 min cool down) I am so unsure of myself and my ability, but by the end of the work out I feel like I can conquer anything! Another change that I have noticed is that I can say no to myself. Today I was feeling a little bummed about the weight gain and my inner chick tried to convince me I would feel better if I had chocolate. I deserved the chocolate, I already gained six pounds what was a little chocolate going to hurt. Really sometimes I think I am crazy. I am standing in the store talking to myself (in my head I hope) and finally say just because I gained weight doesn't mean I need to cheat. I will just feel guilty if I do cheat and by cheating I am erasing all the hard work and effort I have already put in. I know it sounds crazy, but that has always been hard for me. I have always been able to come up with an excuse to not continue on and you have no idea how thrilled I am that I won that battle today. God is definitely working in me. A friend loaned me a wonderful book called "made to crave". That book has shown me a totally different outlook on food and that God can help us with all things.
Some people really do have a food addiction. I have a food addiction. I use food in ways that I know are wrong. I have a closet eating problem too. But I have gotten so much better about that. I don't feel hungry between meals now so I really don't have that problem anymore. But I do remember that the worse it got was digging food out of the trash can because it didn't need to be wasted. I hate that people waste food. It isn't like I am starving to death or anything. But food is very precious to me. Maybe it is because to some people it is a luxury. If we only knew how many people really didn't have food to eat in America we would be ashamed to waste food like we do. By using food in the wrong way, we end up exactly where I am, battling the long battle of weight loss. But admitting you have a problem and trying to do something to change it is what matters. You can't sit back and expect the skinny fair to wave her wand over you! You got to pull those big girl panties up, and be ready to commit yourself to the hardest thing you will ever do. Find a healthy eating program and get to moving! Now is your time!

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