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Sunday, October 23, 2011

Because YOU loved me...

I have been very blessed to have people who love and care about me. People who have loved me when there wasn't much to love. People who have loved me when I couldn't love myself. People that have loved me enough to tell me the truth. People that have never given up on me. For some reason, God blessed me with family that continually gives me support and encouragement. People who see that this will be worth it when all is said and done. He has given me family that believes in me. And trust me having that family support is wonderful and great, but it just gets me thinking....if my family loves me and cares about me, how much more is the love of God.
I have been slacking in the God department. I love God and I know that He is my savior. The problem is I just have a hard time staying faithful to Him. I am not as involved in church as I would like to be. My church is without a pastor. Financially it has been hard having the gas money to go out to church. Illness has plagued our family. It makes it hard to get out there on Sundays. I know it is an excuse. I just don't know if I am meant to be there anymore. I have a dream and vision for that church, but I just don't see it growing without a pastor. I just need to be in prayer about what God would have me do about the church situation. I want to be involved in a church and get Abby involved in a church but I have so many ties out there.Anyway I just need some prayer about that. Our little church needs prayer and if you know anyone interested in preaching or being a guest speaker send them our way!
Back to the being faithful to God. I think that I have finally discovered that nothing will work in this life unless I work on my relationship with God. I need to fall back into love with God. I need to put him first. If I don't put God first in my life it is going to  continually go down hill. And to be quite honest with you all I am tired of struggling along...having no peace of mind...I am tired of the valley. I want to know that I have given this the best that I can. Which means I need God now more than ever. It also means that I need to make time for Him and everything else can wait. What I know will happen is everything in this world will go dim when I focus on Jesus. When I put my heart and soul into being a woman of God, God will meet my needs, He will give me the desires of my heart, and He will give me the love that I have desperately been searching for.
Thank you mom for your love and understanding, thank you Uncle Don and Aunt Vicky for your encouragement, blessings and assurance that it will get better, thank you my friends and family (u know who u are) for just being there, and mostly thank you for your prayers. God is working on me....I need Him more than ever. Thank you Jesus for loving me when I was nothing but an ugly, wretched, sinner that nailed you to a cross.Thank you for taking something broken and making it whole again.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

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